Friday, 13 October 2017

Top #25+ Merry Christmas Quotes Funny

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Merry Christmas 

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  Top #25+ Merry Christmas Quotes Funny

 “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”

“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.”

“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”
“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”

“The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: “Some assembly required.””
Merry Christmas Quotes Funny
Merry Christmas Quotes Funny

“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.”



Top #20+ Christmas Quotes About Family


“Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.”
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“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”
“Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.”
Read More: Merry Christmas Quotes

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”
Merry Christmas Quotes Funny
Merry Christmas Quotes Funny


“Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money?”

“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?”
Read More: Short Christmas Quotes



Top #20+ Merry Christmas Whatsapp Status


“Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.”

“I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.”
Merry Christmas Quotes Funny
Merry Christmas Quotes Funny

“Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.”



Top #20+ Merry Christmas Messages For Friends


“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”

“People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces properly if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.”
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Read More: Christmas Wishes For Friends
Read More: Christmas Wishes For Boss 

“Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.”

“As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.”
Merry Christmas Quotes Funny
Merry Christmas Quotes Funny

“The magi, as you know, were wise men — wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents.”

“Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words.”



Top #20+ Christmas Tree Clip Art


“Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of ‘s.’ I suppose you could say ‘Merry Christmas’ and ‘Happy New Year,’ but you probably have sh*t to do.”

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”

“Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like, “Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?”

“This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.”

“If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.”
Read More: Merry Christmas Wishes
Read More: Christmas Wishes

“People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.”

“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.”
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